Where Did All My Friend Go When I Need Them?
That’s probably the number one most common question that goes through all family members and victims that has received a TBI or sometimes even an SCI. Just because we are wheelchair bond or even has to you use a walker, cane and ext. that doesn’t mean that we are any different than you guys, but we do have one advantage over anyone else and that would be that we respect life a lot more than anyone else, Because we have been a lot closer to death! Also you guys sometimes look at us like we are, sorry for using this word but I have to just to get threw you people!! You guy would look at us “like we are Retarded” which we aren’t at all. It feels like we are getting punished for something that we didn’t even do too our self intentionally! You people try to live in our shoes for one week never mind scratch that because I know that it’s impossible for you people to even try to imagine how it is to live our lives!!… alright back to my topic, You guys try to get the following taken away from you… your legs, voice, licenses and some people even there capability to even use their arm… and the list goes on! And then to top of it you lose just about all your friends? See the thing about the friends would be that you can’t go out and party anymore or at least you shouldn’t so there for the De-Friend us! Which doesn’t make them true friend? I truly respect that because I honestly don’t blame them at all because who would want to see one of your old friend like the way you are now, because to be honest I wouldn’t but it would be nice to have some more “true friends” like the ones that I have met at TLC and even other places… the moral of this story is that “we are just like everyone else and we haven’t changed”
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When i first got out of the hospital I used to scream at my mom that I was not retarded. I understand you using that word!
And it is hard, I wish my friends that are left would understand that I am basically the same person, I just have some deficits now. It is so frustrating!
With TBI we need our friends more and it sucks that they all just go away. I wish they could spend a day in our shoes, in our new brains!! Then maybe they would be more understanding!
This is so true! But atleast now we know who our true friends were and are now. Anyone else aren’t worth n never were worth our time. It’s funny how through the bad stuff we been through we ended up gaining something positive, new true friends n old friends who were always true.
In truth, immediately i didn’t understand the essence. But after re-reading all at once became clear.
Hello Donny….PAY IT FORWARD…
Drawing from your own personal experience, whether you know it or not in sharing your story and journey from TBI Hypoxia is a random act of kindness, and is what “Pay It Forward” is all about… Your generosity and humanism for the “Pay It Forward – Changes the World by Helping Others” and making a difference in the life of others in educating others in your struggle with TBI and lending support to others with TBI and others with debilitating illnesses… YOU and people like you are “GENUINE FRIENDS”!
Embrace every day with the understanding that each day we are given an invaluable opportunity to make a difference in our own life, as well as each life that crosses our path. Pay It Forward,” is important to pay forward each good deed that is done, because even the smallest act of kindness can brighten someone’s day… For your information, Pay It Forward Day is an annual, international day of kindness, celebrated on April 30 with your “genuine” friends and family.
Always in my thoughts and prayers.
Gloria
It takes a situation like this to know who are your real frens and who are not..I have limited frens and I like it that way.And I hope you are not taking it too hard.Its better to have 2 real frens than laugh along with 200 fake frens.
When I was younger.not that Im THAT old..Im 25, I put frens above family..a lot of people do.But when crap comes up, its ur family that stands by you thru thick and thin just like urs have.
Smile and get better ok
Wish you all the best for the future. Best regards from norway.
To Donny and ALL my TBI team mates,
Stay strong, set goals, focus on short choppy steps and always believe there is a purpose for what you are going through. God has a plan for all of us, wether we understand it or not. Reading some of your comments you have all affected my life positively, and maybe that is part of the plan the BIG COACH has for you.
Quick background on me. Was a member of the 1981 SF 49ers Super Bowl Championship team as a defensive tackle when I developed hydrocephalus from repeated concussions and underwent VP Shunt surgery. Two more emergency shunt surgeries 10 hrs apart just 4 months after we won Super Bowl XVI and given last rites. My career was over at age 23 and still struggling 28 years later.
Now on brain surgery #9 at age 51, multiple gran mal seizures, major short term memory and anger management issues etc. Despite all, I returned to complete my biology degree after brain surgery # 3 and completed it during surgeries #4 thru #7 (also had a 55 minute grand mal seizure while sitting in Organic), a couple days after a surgery. Currently taking Lamicil for seizures, and Arricept AND Namenda for dementia symptoms (NO short term memory)
Bottom line is; Never let anyone dictate who you are or what you can do. Turn negatives into positives by channeling your anger into energy to complete tasks ( just to prove someone wrong!!!). Even if small tasks. In football we used the term, short choppy steps. If you over-stride or get over extended you will get knocked on your butt.
Stay focused, stay positive and put it in God’s hands.
All the best to my TBI team mates
George Visger
SF 49ers 80 & 81
Visger & Associates
Wildlife Biologist/Environmental Consultant
Survivor of 9 emergency VP Shunt brain surgeries
Hi…I dont know how you feel but I see my 13 yr old daughter going thru the same thing. When she was 9 she was in a car wreck. She was in a coma for weeks was given 3 days to live. Friends were everywhere…Calling coming to the hospital..Writing on her website sending letters,etc…Now she is walking talking making straight A’s in school looks like nothing is wrong but she has TBI…Guess what…She has no friends at all. No one calls no one comes over….I see her struggle everyday with this. She prays everynight that Jesus will send her one true friend. We are now moving to another state where we hope to find her one true friend..She is the sweetest little girl you will ever meet..She has a heart of GOLD…Loves God and she will tell you that she is special that God has a plan for her…So its hard..I could strangle every kid around for not wanting her as a friend…
So my advice to anyone with TBI that has lost their friends..No that God has a special plan for you…That he has made you special in everyway now…He will send you ‘ONE TRUE FRIEND’…
Just dont ever give up…
I see and hear your pain with this issue. I see that this hurts you so much. For that it hurts me to see this! It appears this way for you and so many others. Its truly a sad thing. This is something I wish I could take from you. I see how many firnds you have lost, and it amazes me! It makes you question if they were even true friends. Your situation made you into this amazing and beautiful person! Others might not see this, but I know this and see it myself. All I can say is be humble in your heart and pray to God that he brings amazing friends in your life that cherishs you. I love you for the more amaziing person you have become during this new chapter of your life. xoxo