Donny Winn | Living With Traumatic Brain Injury
I am putting this up on my site for all the people that are not aware of what us people with TBI or that bit even aware of how it is to live life with a TBI “Traumatic Brain Injury”
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Donny……You’re the Man!! I’m still struggling & probably always will! Aug.26th 1994 i was Brutally & Viciouslly
attacked on my way to work.
I lost all my equal librium in my left side,my cognitive process of thinking……welll sometimes i get inpatieent w/
myself. So basically it was very similiar to a stroke w/ 20 stitches in my head,choked practically to death.
All for what?? $5.00!! An Addict Lots of Therapy,Anger Management! My Family wasn’t there for me because they wereen’t eexplained what was going on & i couldn’t speak or think for myself.
I feel very issolated & alone at times even w/ people?? Does that make any sense??
Too many meds i have to take……
Yes, I’m thankful to be alive,but i just don’t understand how my Family could abandon me??
Take care of yourself,
Lisa
I just watched the videos of oth people with TBI. I found them vey inspiring, my son was in an accident when he was 10yrs. old now he is 18yrs. old. I have alot of dfficulty with him, he likes to give me a hard time with things to make bad decisions. I love him and I want to help him I just don’t know how. The doctors say to put him in some kind of group home and I can’t stand to think of that. He is one of those TBI’s that you can’t tell he has any problems, so it is very hard for people to understand him. If you have any advice for me I would really appreciate it, or if anyone out there that reads this can help me in any way I would love it. Thank you. Tina
Hello Donny:
I am a survivor of TBI. Since March 6, 1992 my life has changed so much. I was an up and coming business executive in the Human Resources field of a major drug chain and then a terrible car accident stopped everything in its tracks. My problem seems to be that my recovery was rapid and I looked fine. Unfortunately I was not. What I always tell myself is do not give up, keep fighting. People always tell me how lucky I am, but if they only knew. There is a lot of prejudice against the brain injured. It is very well hidden but it is out there. Be strong and stay tough, you will be OK.
Bob
Had a brain injury 20 years ago. Still suffer, get tired faster than average and my brain slows functioning less and cry easy. Taking training in androgenous semantic realignment is teaching me to stay on top of my emotions and focus on what’s rational. There’s so much more to it. Wish there was ever a decent TBI support group anywhere around…there’s not. I had one once myself, but TBI people have a hard time showing up
Hi Donny,
I was so happy to find this website. A place to share with others. My friend survived a train accident with severe body and brain trauma. He was telling me today that it was difficult to feel emotion for family and friends because he has little memory of them. I tried to imagine that and it was overwhelming. I simply can’t imagine the emotional isolation and loneliness that would come with that, not to mention how you would trust people who you don’t remember but they remember you. I was wondering if you had any advice as to how i could help him with being able to express the emotional aspects of TBI. Thank you for being there and i sincerely hope you recover.
Hi Rose,
Treat him as you would have before the accident. I had to relearn and still working on my emotions on every day basis.
I remember all my family and friends. It’s hard when they don’t treat me like they did before my coma. Why don’t you show pictures of him and the family together,
and the memories and explain the pictures.
sir! I am 66 yrs. old and only semi-computer literate. My TBI was caused by the crash of my
bicycle following (they told me afterwards…??) a stroke. Had been traveling down a VERY steep
paved hill and didn’t even own a helmet at that time. Became aware of being in a room that
seemed to me like a hospital room…..but I was in sweat pants, not pajamas, so couldn’t
understand what I’d be doing in a HOSPITAL. (In Germany, doctors are forbidden by law to
discuss a patient’s condition with the patient her/himself !
I had had amnesia for the first 3 days following the accident. The WORST was yet to come!
(After two weeks, they transferred me to the local “geriatric/social-psychiatric” hospital across
town……..) They invented stories about me doing “gymnastic tricks” on the window ledge
(and the windows in the neurology ward on 9th floor had closure like unto those on a
station wagon………swing up, and you’re exposed to the open air……(Me…..I have enough
anxiety for heights…….NO WAY was I going to mess around with falling…..!) BUT ….it got
me into the CLOSED PSYCHIATRIC WARD (behind bars and with 3 totally crazy women
sharing the room………………………everyone turned into “zombies” with massive doses of
Haldol ……(to make us all “easy-care” patients / victims) NO THERAPY WHATSOEVER …..
I finally taught myself to walk securely again going up and down hallways with giant
arm swings and as large and rapid a stride as I could manage. We were unable to
go outside. Food was so bad and so meager I was lighter by 14 lbs. by the time
they released me…………staff smoked constantly…..even in the room where we were
fed ! Twice restrained flat on my back with no word . . . (to be continued)
This has been so enlightening to me to understand what I have been dealing with with my husband but did not understand… I am so thankful for this.
My son, Chris had a major motorcycle accident June 24th, 2001. His son was 18 months at the time, and his girlfriend had just left him, and had taken his son. He was in a coma for 3 or 4 weeks, and had to have major surgery to be put back together. He spent 12 weeks in the hospital, and was sent home to rehab. He should have been sent on to a rehab center, but due to a large bed sore, no one would take him. He had to relearn to write, read and walk, as he almost lost his leg in the accident. Most of the following year of rehab was done with my help, getting him to the various thearpy sessions that were necessary. With a TBI, he had major head injuries, and had to have his eye sockets, nose and much of his face rebuilt. Because of this type of head injury, his executive functions, (feelings, love, anger, knowing right from wrong, ect.) were badly damaged. He has been able to maintain a few old friends but with his anger, we, his family have a hard time dealing with this. He has been taken advantage of by many people who just use him. It is very tough to watch. They get him in trouble, and encourage bad behavior, and illegal drug use. I usually have my hands full, just trying to stay one step ahead of him and the problems. WE tried a support group, but couldn’t get there often, and then when we did, the leader was often absent. Maybe this format will be like a support group, were we can vent our frustration, and help each other with ideas we have had success with. I know that everyone with a TBI has a very difficult time, just getting through the day, let alone if we try to deal with the various bureaucratic obsticles that are put into our ways. Like SSI, & Food Stamps. We tried to apply for SSI after a year on Ca. State Disability. All of the Doctors we went said it should not be a problem to receive SSI. We were denied! They said that he was young enough to learn a new trade. He has limited use of his left hand, & left leg. I don’t know what it takes, but we didn’t have it. Illegal drug use, disqualifies him from receiving food stamps. Anyone have any ideas yet?
Well, as a parent, I do get frustrated. I wish I could get some sort of help for him.
Thank you for listening.
I was in a car accident in 1985 – fell asleep at the wheel, drove off an embankment, was thrown from the car, and ended up in a coma for 10 days. 2 months in the hospital, most of that in rehab. I still have short term memory problems, and can’t work. I tried to work, but kept getting fired because of my disability. I didn’t know about the ADA. I also was denied disability, but I got an attorney and finally got it through. My advice, don’t give up!! Brain Injury is real, but it is also an “invisible” disability. You can’t tell by looking at someone that they are disabled, where as someone who is paralyzed has a wheelchair, etc. It took me 2 years to get my disability, but I know I wouldn’t have gotten it without the advice (counsil) of a disability attorney. Now, I have my disability, and don’t have the worry about working – I am lucky enough to have a spouse who helps me, but you can do it yourself, as well – don’t be embarassed to ask questions. Not even if you asked the same question 10 minutes ago!! That’s part of the disability. Hope this helps.
Elaine
Livilng with TBI almost 20 years, went from capable assistant bank cd’s, savings, retirement all lost, to homeless, elderly, unemployed. Injuries have brought on early aging, unable to walk at times, other disabilities prohibit me from being as productive as before injury. still trying to find resources to get tests validated that i am indeed disabled so that i can get the social programs to give me any help.
See what I mean about TBI, we do things at times with all the right intentions, but something is missing in the way that we interpret words, things, situations, people. We are not stupid nor ignorant. We have things that were “damaged” and it seems that unless we get rehabilitation (proper), seriously good friends, help from understanding doctors, nutrition, vitimans and minerals, getting back to thinking mor or less normal, is a process. For the rest of your life. Never giving up are the best words people like me could ever hear. Keep tell us we need to hear it many times over.
Reading this Brain Injury Survivor commentary was good. Back on 07/04/1988 I was hit by a van. Broad sided and it turned my family’s station wagon into a U shape. The support beam on the drivers side was violently smashed into my head and you all know the rest from there.
I did drive out in front of the vehicle I do admit and have been paying for that error since then. It put me in a coma for 3 weeks and I was touch and go. The first 3 days they thought I could/would die. Some how god/my will/luck pulled me through ( I think God did).
I now have a seizure disorder, a bad lower back and screwed up knee’s. The worst part is the memory thing. It seems the doctor says I had massive frontal and brain stem damage from the accident. In other words my memory is screwed up (short term and long term). I have worked with the State of AZ, Arizona State University, 3 Hospitals and many out patient therapy clinics.
They call me the miracle patient as i have done so much more than most or all expected. Such things as walking, talking, … getting my BA (that took forever and was extremely frustrating)… things like that. I went to S. Korea and taught English. I had been doing Taekwondo well before going to korea but it went a notch up when I did go. i got married and then came back. That’s when the real consequences started.
When i got back I had to bounce from job to job. People started to think i was an idiot. I had memory problems, people spoke behind my back, the more frustrated I became the worse my seizures and memory became. I was falling apart.
This is when I started more therapy with Gentiva ( http://www.gentiva.com/…/GentivaRehabWithoutWalls/default.asp ) and got marginally better. They work well with disabilities/TBI (especially Hidden Disabilities). They were kind and patient. I had just gone through a severe discrimination case against my employer over the harassment of fellow employee’s that they allowed to continue after I told them about it.
From there I used State resources (AZ Disabilities Dept). I used everyone I could. For the longest time i had concrete thinking and tried to do it all myself. I have only touched the tip of the iceberg as to what happened. Surely I caused some of it because of lack of memory and inflexibility but could not control the massive discrimination. What I did do to help myself (influenced by my parents really) was to use all of the public resources i could.
From the Brain Injury Assoc of America, AZ DES, ASU Disabled Students, Brain Injured in Phoenix, Scottsdale Memorial Hospital TBI and so on…. I used them all. Why not? I pay my taxes. I used Social Security Disability to help myself and more. So now I would like to advise others to do the same. In your respective countries and all there are associations and governmental groups that are made to help you.
Do not do or make the mistake I made to tough it out. You should take advantage of these from the first opportunity. I still have memory problems and always will. I still have seizures and always will but my community and family help me.
I still don’t like to ask for help at all but sometimes have resolved myself to do that if I want to get ahead at all. The only part which I can not control is the discrimination of other employee’s against me. They still feel I’m slow, stupid ( some feel ) or lying. That I can’t control so I just ignore it and move on. I am pleased to find this group and hope to read more.
I recognize Suki’s writing as many of those things are happening to me. But do the best i can but the older I get the harder it gets. Some days i’m so depressed. ( got bad enough to be on medication because of I as I kept thinking seriously about driving across the median and ending it all. ) I still have similar thoughts but they pass soon after so I feel I’m getting better. I just can’t control the talking of other people and that’s the most frustrating part.
I hear better than people think and I can hear them talking about me and calling me stupid. Then I hear one person stand up for me as many things I do better than the talkers. So I don’t know what to think and I’m just frustrated.
So I figure I’ll just keep on keeping on and life will get better eventually or I’ll die. Either way it’s over, ya know? I won’t kill myself, I’m past that ….. I’ll just die of natural causes.
I too felt like i have a second chance but the older I get the more that feeling passes me by. I’m just in a depressed stage now. It’s more difficult for me to get a job with these limitations, oh well. Though on some days i feel as is I can do anything and everything. I just have to figure out how to chain more of those days together.
Suki, never give up. Keep on keeping on. Concentrate and do it. Over and over. One day it will work out at least for a temporary respite.
During rush hour on March 23, 2009, my 36 year old daughter, J-walked crossing a very busy street, and was hit by a truck. She was air lifted to the hospital via helicopter. The hospital she went to specializes with various trauma patients, that there was luckily a surgeon on duty that saw early on after her CT scan that her brain was swelling. A protion of her skull was removed and placed in her abdobin for safe keeping until the swelling of her brain went down. She also had fractures of the shoulder and pelvis. All are healed.
During the time Deanna was in her coma, the doctor told me several times, she could die, she could wake up in a vegitative state, or wake up in a stroke like state, he just didn’t know how this would play out. Two weeks Deanna was in a coma. A few days after she woke, and almost a month after Deanna’s accident , she went in to a rehab hospital. She stayed there almost a month before coming home wtih me. Today, Deanna, is able to walk without any trouble. She is unable to make proper decisions for herself, and cannot speak clearly. Only automatic words, like I love you, I’m sorry, yes, no, whatever, etc. I would say, about 99 percent is very unclear. I tease, while Deanna was in her coma, she learned a new language called “Deannagoli.” As it is only clear to Deanna as to what her toughts are she wants to say or express. Deanna is working on her speech in speech theapy twice a week. On June 3, 2009, Deanna had her bone of her skull replaced. All went well. She sleeps a lot. She has no ambition to do anything. If I don’t direct her or encourage her, she doesn’t think for herself to do things. Deanna asks me what clothes she should wear for the day. I tell her make that decision yourself, asking her to decide what color is her day?
I am parent, who loves her daughter very much, I was ready to let my daughter go if her injuries she sustained were too hard for her to handle she had my permission to go, and I told as much when I saw her in recovery. Afterwards, I sang “Your Are My Sunshine” in her ear. Deanna did all she could to stay, to live. Even though I am unable to understand what she says to me, I am doing all I can with her , for her to enjoy her stay with me in my home.
To everyone who wrote before me, please continue on the paths of life you are on and do not give up. If you feel low, speak with your love ones and professionals around you that’s what they are there for. To help you and love you. In doing so, please think about and consider your attitude. As attitude has everything to do with your recovery.
Words of wisdom I received from my mother while she was going through her kimo for her breast cancer she shared with me to: Maintain your since of humor, laugh often as you can, watch as as many happy movies or TV shows you can endure. Believe in yourself that you can …you fill in all those blanks, and with time, the rest will be. Whatever that is. Everyday, pay more attention to the positive things that you did during your day with more atagirl or ataboys! Above all relax. She had been in remission of her cancer for 10+ years before she died in March 2001.
One thing I would like to leave everyone with, please do not ever forget to end every conversation with your loved ones with “I love you.” On the morning of Deanna’s accident, she called me. The conversation end with both of telling each other, “I love you.” I did not expect those last three spoken words that day to mean so much to me, as I had those words to hold on to when Deanna was in her coma. Everyday, and sometimes without any converstation, Deanna says to me, “I love you.”
May God bless you each and everyone of you. Nameste’
Living with TBI for the last 20 months. The experience has been devastating. I am no longer able to work. I have terrible headaches, with cognitive and executive function disabilities. I am fortunate to have my life and a supportive, loving family. Thank you for the website.
Need help with my daughter. She hanged herself. She is in a coma, she is breathing on her own
Yes, all of you/us, hang in and keep working. My car accident was in 1961 when I fell asleep at the wheel. I had no major exterior damage or broken bones but was unconsious for about 10 to 12 hours. Back then no one knew anything about head injuries so I was sent back to work. I was in the ARMY.
My family could not understand how or why I had changedso much from what they knew. I struggled and eventually got a college degree and became a teacher. Being on a bell schedule helped me stay focused. I am retired now and just found a local TBI group. It is amazing what I am learning. We must keep learning and focus on the little steps we accomplish and celebrate them. We also need to get the word out, so that the many folks out there who don’t know about TBI, but have it, are made aware of the help that is available.
Keep up the good work! and Thanks.
Hello everyone:
I experienced a Traumatic Brain Injury, coma, and had to relearn everything over again 18 yrs ago. After my accident, there is always something new to learn about life… In March 2009, I published a book, “MY MIRACLE” all about before, during, after, and up to this point in my life. Visit http://www.SharingMiracles.net where you can see the book, resource’s, and go join in on discussions (its free).
Go to “share your miracle page” click on the center “share your miracle link” to bring up the discussion forum page. There you can read, join in, or start your own discussion about life experiences and miracles.
I look forward in reading about you and joining your discussions.
Take care and be safe,
Rodney