Donny Winn | Where is god when you need him?
Alright I know that it has been awhile since I have wrote a blog and I also know that everyone is curious to how everything has been going for me. Well I actually I have been pretty down mainly for the reason that I feel this way is because it feels like I have been going back words ever since I got my bacolefin pump and that’s not even the worse part. The worst part is that it feels like my mind is going back words and what I mean by that is like my memory Is getting all screwed up for an example, this morning I woke up and thought it was Monday and also my attitude toward life has changed as well, for another example I just don’t care about anything anymore and what I mean by that is like the way I look at life, which everyone that knows me pretty well knows that I typically care about how I look and also the WORST part about how I have been feeling is that I’m starting to lose my faith in god AGAIN! Almost every morning when I wake up I hope that I have my life back but then I wake up to realize that im still living in this night mare, which isn’t helping my recovery at all!
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DONNYz!!
I dont think ur going backwards…i see u everyday so i would know..i actually think ur memory has gotten a LOT better..n u thought it was monday cuz ur not used to being here on the weekends, i dont think it was memory..n dont lose ur faith, remember everything happens for a reason n god has a plan for us all…u lived for a reason n so did i…i feel like im not getting better but slowly i am n so are you…u inspire me probably the most to get better n i hope i inspire u too…we both are gonna get better, i just know it…thanks for everything, helping me with my video n keeping me smiling and having fun everyday…i appreciate it lotz….
My son has TBI. His car accident was in 06″ in Morgantown, WV ,where we live. Corey was 36 when his accident happened. He is 6’3″ tall and weight at the time 170 pounds. He now is 39 and weights 235 pounds. I am 5′ and 100 pounds. Corey is total care. I use a hoyer lift to get him in and out of his power chair. He is only slightly aware of his situation. I was told he would be a vegetable. Corey has had some very dramitic set backs, one being meningitis from his baclofen pump. He has a 6 months pump but is on such high doses he has to have it filled every month. He is in a power chair but he can not remember how to operate it well. His judgement is off and has to be guided when using it. He can brush his teeth, shave, eat by himself but he can not stand or walk. Corey played baeball and football in high school wwas caption of his team and made the Big 10 conference. He also played semi pro baseball for a while. Corey graduated from WVU with a degree in history and one in political science. He played in a band after he self taught himself to play the guitar. He was excited to be on his way to a new job in DC to work at the Library of Congress. His accident happen here in our home town, right before he was to leave. I took two years off work, to be with Corey 24/7. I never left his side through 132 days at the hospital, 4 months in rehab, 4 months in a nursig home, where I slept on the floor beside his bed 24/ 7, and 4 months in Ohio St U rehab. We were back in the hospital three out of 4 months in 07, with bacterial meningitis from his baclofen pump they put in at Ohio St U medical hopital. He is home with me now, I have a great nurse who stays with Corey so I can work to pay for his needs. We work with him daily. It’s been 3 years and 7 months and he is starting to get some of his memory back. He had retro traumatic amnesia, and post traumatic amnesia. He did not know what ANYTHING was.
Please remember that no matter how bad you think you have it, there is always someone out there who is worse off than you. I work with other families who have loved ones who have TBI, and are in the hospital, helping them to cope and get resources I had to fight for .I don’t want anyone to go through this without help. I wish Corey could stand and walk. But I know he will in time. TIME is all we have. I know one day he will walk and he will regain at least some of his memories of his life. Right now I thank GOD he let my son live!!!! It’s hard work but it’s well worth it. I get upset, and sometimes I cry but it doesn’t change a thing so I just keep keepin on. You do the same. Ty to help others who are in the hospital who need to see a traumatic brain injury who is making it. I took corey to meet a familyi’m trying to help right now. I want them to see there is hope and not to give up. Corey told them “I’m NOT a vegetable!!” Families who are going through this need that kind of encouragement. dostors and nurses don’t give families much of that. There are families out there who need you right now. Helping others takes the focus off your own problems when you see others who are worse off than you. You CAN give others HOPE!!! God can take somethnig bad and make something good from it. Follow his lead!!!! Love Deb A TBI mom in the trenches!!!!
Donny-
How are you doing? Chad, Kyle and I came by to visit you on Saturday afternoon but the nurse told us you were out for the day. I am sorry we missed you. Las Calinas is beautiful and I was told my grandfather was stayed there in 1977 after he had his stroke.( I am too young to remember that far back, lol). So I ask your mom for a update everytime I see her, I just hope I don’t bother her too much. I miss talking to you and hope you call me sometime or anytime even if y ou need someone just to listen to you. I am not very spiritual Donny but i do believe God has a plan for all of us, I don’t know what it is but I can tell you I feel like I am being tested everyday. I am just lucky your mom and Theresa have alot of patience. You have a wonderful family and you are lucky to have such a great support group. So I hope you don’t forget about me and I will try to come see you again soon, if that is ok with you of course. Kyle does not do so well on long car rides. Hope to hear from you soon and don’t give up you have come to far to loose hope.
Gina
Keep Your Faith ! ~ I Had Suffered Brain Damage as a LiL Girl , ~ and ~ still Deal With The Tremours On My Right Side ! ~ Because Of The Accident I Have Never Learned To Drive , ~ and ~ I Have Never Worked ! ~I Wonder What My Purpose Is ! ~ Tis How I Was Raised , ~ Therefore ~ I Have No Self Esteem , ~ And ~ Even though I Am 37 Years Old Now , ~ I ~ Still Deal With Self Doubt ! ~
~ Just Dont Give Up , ~ and ~ Keep Your Hope Alive ! ~ If This Goes Through And If You Ever Need Someone To Talk To,I Am Here For You ! ~
I liked it. So much useful material. I read with great interest.
You need to keep your head up. I was deployed to Iraq from 06-08 and i went through alot of things. I was Hit by IEDs 7 times and when i came home from iraq my wife and my mother noticed changes that i didnt, My memory was horrible was tired all the time sick all the time and i always wanted to sleep. I mean i would set somthing down right in front of me and then two seconds later be looking for it.. it took close to a year before i noticed that i didnt have thoughs problems anymore.. And then recently i went to afghanistan and i was Injured really bad there. and my body had such bad head trama that i accualy had a stroke from it and it fried my brian.. I see a spacific Doc now that deals with things like this and the Main thing that she tells me all the time is the IT TAKES TIME. it isnt going to heal over nigh., and you cant let things like this let you down you are going to have good days and you are going to have bad days and it sucks somtimes i mean i woke up this morning and was signing 2aug09 on all my paperwork and i thought that it was monday i mean it is things like that ya it sucks but it will get better and you cant let it get you down.. Take everything one day at a time and dont rush yourself through anything at all becuase TBI is not somthing that just goes away in a day
let me ask you where are you when you need him?i do not kmow whatyour mental state is at this time. but, i do know from being around people living with all kinds of mental disorders which affects the mind and body. these things are confidential but, i will share through my experiences what i have learned in getting the brain to work for you.
first stress seems to trigger all of these peoples conditions MAKING LIFE VERY DIFFICULT FOR THEM. so, learning how to control your stress is very important. secound, how did i get my brain to work? as my psychologist put it, I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT, BUT, YOU HAVE BEEN ABLE TO REWIRE YOUR BRAIN.” 1. at the beginning of each day plan something new to do with one of your five senses, now remember this it isn’t a test or anything it is simple to entertain your brain, you are not to make it an experience to remember. so, each day you will find something new for one of your senses. this will stimulate the brain.2. forget the past and do not look for the future to be a certain way. find something which makes you feel humility and do not be afraid to do it. humility and lack of fear is the tools which allowes a baby to learn to walk and learn a language. 3.there is no such thing as failure or success, or problems, conflicts or challenges these are simple things to do. 4.before going to bed walk back through the day connecting everything even what you did before getting into bed and what you did before that and before that an so on and try walking your mind through the day before and see how far back you can go. this will power up your long trm memory and for short term memory. turn on the tv and slowly flip through the channels briefly memorizing each channel and before going back try to recall what was on that channel. start out with five channel and move up.5. lose the thought that there is anything wrong with you. do not look at yourself with a third eye, imagine everything you do as if it will be the first time to do something slow down and watch everything movement you make and remember there is no right or wrong way to do anything. IF, YOU BELIEVE IN GOD, THEN KNOW THIS YOUR IMAGINATION IS YOUR POWER TO OVER-COMING ANYTHING. THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY WHEN EXPLORING THE IMAGINATION. EVERYTHING IN THE EDUCATION SYSTEM CREATED FROM SOMEBODYS IMAGINATION, THE LEGAL SYSTEM AND LAWS THATS RIGHT IMAGINATION, ALL JOBS AND BUILDINGS AND THE WAY PEOPLE DO THINGS IN WHAT EVER WAY THEY DO IT-IMAGINATION. GOD CREATED THE EARTH AND ALL THING-IMAGINATION, WHY DO YOU THINK OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM IS ALWAYS BEING IMPROVED OR THE LEGAL SYSTEM, OR THE MEDICAL FIELD AND I CAN TALK BOUT EVERYTHING ON THIS PLANET. THE KEY IS TO DO SOMETHING NEW AND LET THE BRAIN MIND WORK THE BRAIN WITHOUT MINDTALK. DO NOT TALK TO YOURSELF ANYMORE AND DO NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE DO OR SAY TO YOU. LET IT COME FREELY LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOU WHERE A BABY AND THE BRAIN WILL FIX ITSELF. I’M LIVING PROOF. RUSTY
In truth, immediately i didn’t understand the essence. But after re-reading all at once became clear.
Hello, I was able to read the statements somewhat. I am able to type this e-mail to you who’ve written your experiences and perservere to gain strength back from brain injuries. The doctor gave me the wrong medicine. I sufffered a multi-organ failure with Steven Johnson’s Syndrome while in a coma having kidney dialysis and unexpected to live on. I woke up from the month long ordeal clinging to walls to walk and finally use the toilet. I was fortunate to live with both parents to regain my ability to walk in April of 2007. I had hepatic encephalopathy needing a liver transplant I didn’t receive deemed unecessary. I have parietal and temporal lobe damages to the brain. Maribeth
Donny Winn, Where are you? Get back to those passing moments. You love God don’t you. Anyway. I’ve kept my faith. Maribeth
Corey and Mom in the trenches, Hello! Yet, my last comment. I am reaching out in several ways. I was in rehabilitation and still have the resources working for me. I was hired as a store floor clerk just last month. I haven’t worked a day since the near fatal illness. There are several ways I am getting prepared because of my diverse cognitive and mental disabilities. A map of the floor was made for me to learn and it has taken many times sitting down at the map and I still don’t know the floor plan. I forget almost everything and especially everything I enjoy most. But, not my faith. I am older than Corey, probably older than you “Mom.” I have been educated earning an Associate of Arts Degree and Bachelor of Arts degree in English. Please dont despair. Maybe being around folks and opening up can get me to smile once more. It isn’t a tremendous weight but, it is alot. Maribeth
Please help me to return to this web site.
Hello Donny,
My name is Jennifer Cannon and I just happened to stumble across this page this morning when I was trying to look up information on an injury I received from a car accident Aug. of ’03. I’m not sure what exactly happened to you, I haven’t had too much time to look through everything before I knew that I wanted to post a response, so I guess you could say that I am putting the proverbial cart before the horse. For now, I just wanted to let you know that I have been through many of the same issues as you have, I’m assuming, the whole re-learning how to walk, talk, and all that good jazz… All of this being called frustrating is probably the understatement of the century too! Before my accident, I was a real go getter. I was making great grades in college, had an awesome job, my own place, had never been in any trouble… Then my accident happened where I received a closed head injury and I was trapped inside of the vehicle with one lung deflated. As you can imagine, this circumstance changed my life… forever. People all said that I should’ve been happy I was alive and God must have a plan for me because I really shouldn’t still be here. While I do very much believe in God, it is sometimes very hard for us to see any reason in some turns of events. I have been on Social Security Disability since ’03 and I hadn’t really found much direction in my life since my accident, but after coming across this site, I do believe there is still some great work that I can do. If you wouldn’t mind imparting a little of your knowledge and story with me, please e-mail me so that we can talk further. Thanks and keep your chin up, it’s raining here in central Florida, but I’m sure it’s beautiful outside somewhere! Have a good one…
I came across this site accidentally, looking for some help in how to get back to normal after falling hard on my head a couple of months ago and being hospitalized for a couple of weeks and then in rehab for 3.5 weeks, a very depressing experience looking at all the other people in decline.
Rustyc, you reminded me how I was able to rewire my brain and escape from a long severe depression. So I imagine I have to just keep going with what I have left, my memory is coming back and I’m not really depressed. I just had a few seizures after I fell and hit my head hard, after writing class. I’m slower but at least I’m alive. I’m living with my daughter and son-in-law.. Have to use a walker and have been on dialysis for 12 years.
People care about me and I’m thankful for that.
Lots of medication to keep from having more seizures makes me tired.
There’s always somebody who has it worse…
hey donny
its been a while since i wrote u
i would like to keep talkin to u new freidns r always great to have and i feel like u would be a GREAT friend something just pulls me towards u so i hope ur feelin ok enough to contact me back if u do have a phone and textin is something u can do feel free to text me WHENEVER u just need someone to talk to =]
<3 Katie
dear donny i dont know if you got my first lette or not this computer thing is sometime a little confusing to me you see 15 years ago i suffered a bilateral skull fx. I was in a coma for 6 months the doctors told my parents that I would be a vegetable and life for me would never be the same. Well needless to say they had half of that right. I lost my memory for over a year and there are still some dark places that will never be filled with memory of my past, old friends, etc. I remember the days when I cussed God and felt that He had left me. But thru it all He was right there with me waiting for me to embrace His grace and love He had for me. It took me 8 years of long hard rehab. Speech therapy, occ therapy, physc therapy and 12 psychiatrist to pull me back together. There is life after a brain injury it probably won’t be the life you had but you can have a life thats full as you choose to make it to be. It won’t be easy and you will have days that you hate. But just remember that the sun will rise tomorrow even if you dont see it , it still rises. Hang in there buddy and just remember that I love you and He loves you and you are not alone in this battle.
Donny, I had a TBI in 2001at 35 years of age. I was very lucky to have survived. I fell backwards on a slippery cement porch while moving into our new home. I came to and later learned I fractured my skull burst both ear drums and had damage and hymatomas (sp) in the front and back of my brain, spent some amount of time in the hospital, returned home to my 4 kids and I needed supervision. I had seizures and couldnt drive, or read or do math. My job layed me off and my husband lost his job because of all the care he had to do. Then we lost our home and all possessions, and we eventually seperated. This was an awful time and I lost faith, but I had to accept that I was a different person, not good or bad, not giving up or giving in just different. Once I did that I began to see all the things I had taken for granted for my whole life before the TBI, for the little miracles they were, and I learned what really matters and I learned to focus on it. I think is key to focus on finding time to list positive things or it is too overwhelming. I find when I start feeling down about all the limitations I have now, if I volunteer to help others it is easier to be positive and grateful. I loose track of my progress if I am not careful and journalling, after years of therapy – physical -cognitive-occupational -neuropsych.. I drive, I work , I laugh, I struggle, l laugh more, cry more, and I try to forgive and more and more frequently I realize I am one lucky lady. You are young and alive follow whatever your passion is.. mine changed so I had to rediscover them.. Sounds like you have lots of family and friends who love and support you, that was hard on me because they wanted me to recover and be the person they knew. It is good to get out and experience new settings and meet new people. Keep the faith! I think my God understands and he wants us to be happy, You are an inspiration to so many people! Bless you!
Donny,
I just wanted to let you know that on February 14, 2009, my 19 year old son was in a motor vehicle accident and was in Santa Rosa Hospital in the ICU for 1 month. He was then transferred to Kentfield Rehabilitation Hospital where he was there for 2 months before being kicked out by our insurance company because he displayed a “lack of progress”. His third stop was at a wonderful place called Care Meridian in Fairfax Ca where he stayed for a little more than 3 months before our insurance kicked us out again. With no choice other than a nursing home we decided to bring our boy home. It has been very hard to say the least. We have inhome care during the day and at night. Often over the course of 1 wk and 3 days since we brought our son home, we’ve had 5 of those days mostly nights where I had to care for him myself. His diagnosis was at first a vegetative state but he is now in the semi conscious vegetative state. He is completely bed ridden needing 24/7 care. I will never give up on him. I know in my heart he will wake up and get better. Without God I would be a mess mentally. Lately I’ve had some pretty down days but often am reminded how blessed I am to still have my son with me. It is coming up on 7 months since his injury with little progress. I still hold on to hope and God. You are awake, talking, typing, eating, and you should be happy with all the progress you’ve made. I could only hope that my son was in your shoes. Please don’t get down on yourself for all the progress you haven’t made, look at all your have made! You are one lucky fellow and you have one mighty God on your side. Keep the faith, set goals each day for yourself, and rejoice when you accomplish them. Don’t look back, look forward. You have helped many people through your website. You have a purpose, you have your life, and look, you have touched my life with your website when i was just looking up information on TBI. I stumbled onto your website by Gods design. God Bless you as you continue and I do mean CONTINUE to make those steps of healing and progress. Rome wasn’t built in a day either!
Dear Tamara
I think your son and my daughter might be in the same situation. Her car accident was in March 08, she got hit by the drunk driver. I document her progress on her blog http://www.dearAda.blogspot.com She is 23
She was also expected to be in vegetative stage, but she is can walk and eat and start to communicate.
may be we can support each other. We took her home 1 year ago. I know whay you and your family had to go through.
If interest, my e-mail is silastones@aol.com
It is going to be a long journey for us.
Ponsawan
P.S. Donney, you brought many people together, you should be proud of yourself. before this, I thought I was so alone now I feel much better
hi don-easy for me to say–whatever is over your head is under HIS feet-being angry at HIM -AT LEAST YOU STILL BELIEVE-THAT’S HUGH your here for a reason–read david & golith-david was fearful was alone but realized the battle was not for his glory-it belonged to whom he believed in-its easy to loose our way –keep the faith–i deeply thank you for your inspiration—c.
Hi, have you heard of truehope.com Look it up seriuosly. I have seen it work heal nerves, remove depression and heal the body of several family and friends. I t feeds the brain and you heal way quicker. I truly have seen it do miracles for a dozen people. Please take this serious. It was discovered by a pig farmer,go on site and hear the stories and do your research. I was in an accident 2 1/2 yrs. ago. I had depression and just felt slow in the head and low. It has not just made me feel alert and normal again but wow I think so much clearer and my spirit is revitalized and nervous system is feeling great too. One man had bad brain trauma and nothing was helping ,he got on this and has recovered much to the surprise of several good doctors so Look it up,aND YOU WILL LOVE IT. iN CANADA I AM ,so check it out and do not give up. It will absorb to your brain because it is pure chelated from Utah I believe they get it made. It has done miracles for a close relative who had bipolar and depression and on this stuff she is completely normal but must keep on it. No drugs,yeh! Best to yhou,may it be that answer to prayer to finish the brain connections you need!
dear donny i know what it is like liveing with some one with tbi my husband has it i am praying hard every day for him and maybe you can help me understand whats going on i wold love to get a email from you because we are both dissabled and we just want freainds and to hear from others with tbi to help me understand whats going to happned to him he has cezziers because of it he was in a car weark when he was 8 years old i think god every day for him but please keep us in your prayers dont lose your faith in god because i belive in god and i belive in everything he has for us all and i just wana tell you i am sorry you hand a rough time with this tbi i wish i could do something for you and your family if i can help just let me know how i am not rich but if there is anything i can do for you or your loved ones please let me know love you laurie womack my eamil add is ljwomack3303@aol.com
My daughter who is now 22 was impaled by a fence post at 60 mph on January 1, 2008. After a year and 2 months I have been able to bring her home. She suffered severe brain trauma, a stroke, lost her left eye and her face was shattered. She is unable to swallow, or to walk. She has started talking which is so wonderful. Our God is a loving God and He has walked with us on this difficult journey. My daughter is such an inspiration to everyone and she truly is God’s miracle. We have never given up hope and never will – each day is a gift from God and I appreciate every second of the day that I have her with me. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Donnyi
I believe everything happens for a reason you have a purpose in life and god wants you here for a reason.. hang in there and always have faith don’t loose faith just because things don’t go the way you expect it. Make the best of the situation always remember that your family is your backbone and they will be there for you at your worst thru the good and bad.you are a very smart person with a huge heart always keep strong..
-best wishes
Andrea
Hi Donny,
My name is Lisa, and I’m 24. I recieved a TBI weeks before my 16th birthdayIjuly 24, 2000). It was the highest level on the glasgloe scale. In addition to my cognitive/emotional issues(memory, attitude, feelings on life and God), I also have ‘physical’/neurological problems I am slowly, but surely recovering from. I was in a coma for 3months, in the hospital 6. All of the emotions you are expieriencing, and more, are 100% to be expected. If u have any additional questions u feel I can help u with, shoot me an e-mail. I’d love to use some of my knowledge for good!)
Lisa
Don’t lose the Faith Donny…
When I wrecked the Harley (I say the bike tried to kill me!), I ended up in hospital for 4 months with a TBI. I had a piece of my left frontal lobe sliced off due to bleeding. I also believe that we are all put here for a reason. I’ve had memory disturbances, personality changes, etc. But, then again, I’m 51 now (my teenage daughters call me prehistoric), and getting “old” doesn’t help any either. WHenever I go to my PCP he says “Are you here again!? You should be dead!”. Well, I’m too stubborn to die, so may be I’m here just to make a few other people miserable LOL.
Hang in there Donny…God will take care of you too!
-Lisa